Tuesday, June 25, 2024



When my wife and I first got married and I had not recovered from the initial “gragra” (that overwhelming excitement of marrying someone you love), It was as if there was no other woman in existence aside from her. No matter how beautiful another woman is, I wouldn’t even notice. I spent most of my time with her, and I spent the few hours I was away from her to talk about her to the people around me. The babalawo wey do that juju for my wife sabi work.

I’m sure no woman would agree to associate with me at that time because I talk about my wife for a living. Imagine having a conversation with a lady for the first time, and all I have to say to her is “My wife this, my wife that”

The lady would definitely get irritated. Meanwhile, I wasn’t intentionally doing that to provoke others, I was too excited about getting married to the love of my life, and I couldn’t help but talk about her always.

About 2 years later, when marriage challenges and responsibilities had increased, and I had recovered from the initial gragra, I discovered that, once again, I had tolerance for associating with other ladies and if I give too much chance, there’s the possibility of developing feelings for another woman.

This began to bother me because I had made up my mind that I would be faithful to my wife. So, I decided to talk to one of my mentors. He’s an elderly man with an enviable marriage and a serving Pastor in RCCG.

I went to his office one day and I asked him one question…”Sir, you have been married for more than 15 years, have you ever cheated on your wife?”

He took a deep breath and said “By the grace of God, I have never cheated on my wife”

Me: Sir, how did you do it? I am only two years married and I have started noticing other fine girls around. Sir, do you walk with your eyes closed?

He smiled and said: John, you must understand that no man is invincible. Personally, there were times that I have had to deal with strong temptations, I would have even fallen if not for God that has been helping me.

Me: Now surprised…”Sir, you don’t mean it”
He continued “There’s a young lady here in my place of work that is sexually appealing to me. Surprisingly, this lady is also obviously fond of me.

She’s always looking for an opportunity to be close to me”
He put his hands on his table and said “There were times I had imagined inviting her into my office, lock all the windows and door and have a quick one with her on this my office table. In fact, I had thought of how sweet it would be. The funny thing is, my wife also works here. Trust me, John, if I tell my wife that we should have sex on this table, she wouldn’t say no, but it seemed to me like sex with my wife on this table wouldn’t be as pleasurable and adventurous as sex with this lady I’m telling you about”

Me: Wow
He: The thing is, satan has a way of deceiving men to believe that sex with women other than their wives will be more pleasurable, but in reality, it is a big lie from the pit of hell.

That’s why the book of Proverbs 9:17 says  “Stolen water is sweet, And bread eaten in secret is pleasant.”

“John, the fact that you love your wife does not mean you’ll not be tempted by other women, but the Holy Spirit is an enabler. In as much as the spirit of God still dwells in you, you’ll always overcome”.
I thanked him, we prayed together and I left.

Dear married men, it is possible to find another woman attractive, but do not let the devil fool you, your wife is enough for you. THERE’S NO PLEASURE ANOTHER WOMAN CAN OFFER THAT IS NOT IN YOUR WIFE.  Remember that the word of God says every man must drink from his own well (Proverbs 5:15).  Also, Proverbs 5:18 says “So be happy with your wife and find your joy with the woman you married” (GNB). Contentment is a great gain.
There’s a prayer point that married men should not joke with…”Lord, let my wife be enough for me in all aspects”.

For as many of us who desire to be faithful to our spouse, may God release His grace upon us in the mighty name of Jesus.

John Adesogan

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